Hurdles

I am no track star, but over the past 6 months, I have had quite the hurdles to jump!

First, it was the pre-term contractions and hospitalizations at 24 weeks of my pregnancy.

Then, that pain continued even with medication, which meant modified bedrest. Thank goodness for the help of my mom, who moved in with us to help out for almost 4 months.

Next up, getting to the hospital to deliver our little monkey, only to be told that he was breech and I would need a c-section ASAP. I was not prepared for that, but would endure whatever I needed to in order to get him here safely.

Within minutes of being born, we were handed our next hurdle on a silver platter...Will had a birth defect, a bilateral cleft soft palate. Being that I had this same defect when I was born, I knew that he would ultimately need surgery!

The feeding issues were next to overcome. Without his soft palate, he has very little sucking power. Therefore, he is not able to drink from a regular bottle. We were given special therapeutic bottles and nipples at the hospital and trained on how to use them by an occupational therapist. We thought these were beginning to work until the other day at his feeding observation required by the craniofacial surgeon. However, we were told that he was taking far too long to eat. He was taking about 40-45 minutes to get approximately 60 mL (2 oz) of formula down. After about 25-30 minutes, the muscles in your throat and tongue get very fatigued. Therefore, he was working harder than he needed to, thus causing him to burn more calories than he was actually taking in. We were then given new preemie nipples that were manipulated to have a slightly faster flow while still having the softness of the preemie nipple. It worked great in that observation. He downed almost 100mL in only 20 minutes. However, the moment we got home, this success stopped. So, a call to the speech/occupational therapist today is in order to get this figured out.

We also met with the craniofacial surgeon last week and were told that the surgery to repair his cleft would be early next summer. When they evaluated him, it was discovered that the hole in his roof was actually wider than usual and it also included some of his hard palate. This may only require one surgery, but possibly two...but that will be a hurdle for later.

Next up, a sleep study this weekend. The surgeon was a little concerned about his breathing at night. He asked if they checked/monitored his oxygen levels while sleeping in the hospital using the pulse/ox monitors (the little red light they put on your finger or on a baby's toes). He was not. Since Will makes lots of snorting and gurgling noises round the clock (sounds very similar to the noise you make when sucking up the very last drops of your drink through a straw), he is slightly concerned. He said we need to rule out sleep apnea as a lack of oxygen could stunt brain development. As you can imagine, hearing this scared the you-know-what out of me! The doctor was relieved to hear that we have him sleeping on his tummy as that is the best position for cleft palate babies. The gravity can pull his tongue forward and out of the roof of his mouth when he is on his tummy and not on his back (where gravity could work against us and cause him to choke). It is entirely possible that he is fine and does not have sleep apnea, but we need to rule that out with a sleep study. So, Will and I will be going to the hospital overnight this coming Sunday where they will hook him up to some monitors and place little nodes all over his head to observe his levels overnight. Luckily, it is Labor Day weekend and Matt has Monday off from work. So, he will stay with Max and Cate and won't have to work that day, so that I can nap all day after being at the study all night with the baby.

There may also be a need for a swallow study to make sure that the formula is going in its entirety to the stomach as opposed to partially going into his lungs. Because he cannot form a perfect seal as you or I do when we swallow, there is a chance that some of his fluids are going into his lungs which could later cause pneumonia. He spits up quite a bit and when he does, it often comes out his nose (because it is all open from the roof of his mouth to his nasal cavity. He also has a higher tendency to develop acid reflux.

On top of all of this, I am learning how to balance daily life with 3 kids, two of which are now in school and several activities.

It has definitely been a track meet of sorts for me and I know that I still have the semi-finals and championships ahead of me! Please keep us in your thoughts or prayers for Will's continued healing and my sanity!

WordFUL Wednesday - Cozy

I sure wish I could curl up in someone's arms like this. The other night, Matt was out with some friends to celebrate Will's birth. So, I had all three kids to put to bed. I got Will in his sling to have my hands free for the other two. At first he wasn't asleep, but then he got all cozy and fell asleep. I couldn't resist getting a picture with my phone. Ahhh, the advantages of being so tiny!

For more Wordful Wednesdays, visit Angie at Seven Clown Circus.

Hooray for 3K!

Today was Cate's first day of 3K preschool. This is the same preschool that Max went to when we first moved here. It is connected to the Catholic School at our parish. She will go two days a week and is very excited to join Max for the "big kid carpool" at the end of those days.

She was so thrilled to get started today that she was up "ready to go to school" when I got up for Will's 2am feeding. Needless to say, I quickly got her back in bed and told her she needed to go back to sleep for a little longer! We got up a few hours later and had breakfast and took "first day of school photos"!

Then, we headed out for Max's carpool drop-off before I walked her into class. She has the same teacher Max did in 4K and so there was no hesitation going into the room as she had seen this room and teacher three days a week a couple of years ago with Max's drop-off. We brought in her first project which was a name pennant that she got to decorate. These will be used for name and letter recognition this year.

She found her name/photo tag and dropped it in the name bucket. Cate dove right into routine and had already made several new friends before I even got out the door.

I think this will be a great year for her.

Coming Home

After 3 nights in the hospital, it was time to come home! We were very anxious to get home to our kids, our bed, our things. We were also very excited to introduce the little guy to his new surroundings.

But before we could leave, Mommy had to be discharged by this guy, her wonderful obstetrician, Dr. Fleming.

Since I had a c-section, I needed ice packs for my incision, and since I am not nursing, I got very engorged and therefore needed ice packs for my chest (I know, I know...TMI)! But, I found this picture very humorous!

We got all packed up and ready to head home.

We were greeted at our home by this guy...compliments of my sister-in-law and mother.

After our first day at home, he got all snuggly for the first night in his bassinet!

Bittersweet

Among all the joy and love we have been experiencing these last three weeks with our newest little bundle, a little sadness looms around us.

On this day a year ago, I got the news that rocked my world. We had lost our baby. I wasn't sure I would be able to get over that. But, here we are, a year later, holding and kissing another little gift from God. Last year, I wrote the biblical verse that Matt recited to me just before going into surgery...

For I have plans for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. --Jeremiah 29:11

And he did have great plans for us...Will came into our lives almost a year later.

So, today, I would like to take the time to remember our angel baby. He or she is watching over our family and our newest little wonder.

Brothers and Sister

The evening that Will was born, my mom brought the kids to meet their baby brother. The moment they walked in the door and their eyes lit up seeing him for the first time just made my heart leap with joy! I could see that they loved him just as much as I did.

They each got a chance to hold him and before they left, they sang "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star!" to him. It was a priceless moment that could never have been rehearsed!

My cup runneth over with love for these kids!

FIRST day of FIRST grade!

Today, Max started first grade.

Last year was hard for me seeing him head into Kindergarten. This year was a little easier, but I still can't believe that he is this old! Last weekend was Meet the Teacher at his school. Unfortunately, he was coming home from the beach and so Matt and I went without him. His teacher seems very nice and has an exciting year in store for them. It was so weird seeing his cubby all filled with actual textbooks and workbooks! Even though he did learn a lot last year, I think this is the year where the "real education" kicks in with more homework, more content, etc! He was so eager to get dressed this morning and get going. He was also super excited that we were in the "big kid" carpool line at school. Oh, the things that get them excited!

Wow, I am so proud of my super kid!

Have a fantastic year, Buddy!

Adding a monkey to the family vine: a birth story

Early in the morning on Tuesday, July 27, 2010, I woke up to some harder contractions that were finally closer together. I was relieved at the prospect of finally getting to call my doctor in hopes of going to the hospital. This could be it! Ironically, the night before, Matt casually commented that "7/27 had a nice ring to it!"

I dropped Max off at camp for the day and told him to kiss my belly goodbye since this might be his last chance to do so. Then, we headed to drop Cate off at dance camp. Upon pulling into the parking lot at the dance studio, the contractions were getting stronger. My friend, Lesley (whose daughter is Cate's best friend) was shocked to see and hear that I was there in such a condition! I replied that I wanted to see my kids off one last time in case I wouldn't see them for a day or so. As we returned to the car, I called my doctor's office. They said to come in immediately. My doctor was at the hospital performing a c-section, so I would be checked by his partner. My mom drove us because I was no longer comfortable driving.

At the office, the partner examined me and determined that I was a solid 3 cm and "head down" with contractions about 3-5 minutes apart. He instructed me to go straight over to the hospital...this baby was most likely coming "today"! The hospital is literally across the parking lot from his office, so we headed over and called Matt to tell him to meet us there.

We checked in on the maternity floor and it was getting harder to walk comfortably, so they provided a wheelchair for me to get to the room. I undressed and got in the gown. The nurse got the monitors ready to attach to me and as she was feeling for the baby's head as a point of reference to find the heartbeat, she asked me if he was breech? I said no, since the doctor had just told me 20 minutes prior that he was head down and I hadn't felt anything remotely like him doing a somersault to change positions. This was perplexing to the nurse as she was quite sure he was, but needed to do a sonogram to confirm this. They also paged my doctor, who was finishing up with his patient from earlier that day and was still in the building.

The sonogram confirmed it...HE WAS BREECH and a c-section was in order. Not only was this in order, we needed to get moving. And fast! They explained to me that my contractions were getting very close together and if my water broke, the umbilical cord could descend into the birth canal and cut off the oxygen to the baby. And, boy, did they mean fast. I immediately had two nurses at either side of me getting my IV started, my vitals taken, my medical history confirmed, my privates shaved, my blood drawn. All the while, my doctor is reasurring us and telling us how this would go. He said that he could perform the surgery in about 16-17 minutes and the nurses verified that he was one of the fastest and best docs for this! I also opted to have my tubes tied at the same time. This pregnancy had been quite difficult and I knew I didn't want to go through another one again. Matt and I had discussed this as an option if and only if I needed a c-section. To give you a reference of how fast things moved. We arrived at the hospital at 10:40 and I was being wheeled into the OR at about 11:20 to get my epidural/spinal started. Matt got into his "scrubs" and had to wait until I was prepped in the OR before coming in.

The spinal/epidural was a bit overwhelming. I had an epidural with both Max and Cate, but this was a bit more daunting as more of me would be numbed. It was also harder for me to get my back rounded enough for them. So, as a result, this process took a lot longer than I remembered. At one point, they asked me to sit Indian style....yeah, right, like I could get in that position with a 37 week old belly out in front. However, the nurse helped me get my legs into position! Finally...success. At this point, I lost it emotionally. The intensity of the moment all the sudden caught up with me and I began to ball! The nurses quickly reassured me and Matt was in the room moments later to hold my hand.

They explained what all would happen and when it would happen. All of the sudden, a calm came over me and I began to realize that within minutes I would finally be able to lay eyes on my little monkey! I wasn't nauseous, I didn't get light headed, I stopped shaking. I just listened for that cry!

And then I heard it. It was the sweetest sound I ever heard (in a three-way tie with the first cries of my first two kids, of course)! Then, the nurse called out, "11:59 am". Matt gently kissed my forehead and we looked over at the table to see the little guy.

William Alton was born!

A slight moment of panic hit me as I saw them put a tube down his throat. I worried that he couldn't breathe and they were about to intubate him, but was then told that he was fine and that babies born via c-section have a lot more fluid in their lungs and mouth since my water is never broken until the delivery. Matt then asked me what I thought he would weigh. I responded with 5 lb 2 oz since Max was 5 lb 1 oz and Cate was 5 lb 5 oz. However, we were both floored when they told us he was 6 lb 8 oz. So, maybe it was a good thing he was born via caesarian since he was soooo big compared to my first two.

At this point, I don't really remember much other than taking a picture with Matt and Will.

Matt and Will then left the OR and headed to our LDR room as they finished stitching me up. Once I got to recovery, I was off and on awake then asleep.

About the only thing I remember is the moment they told us that he had a cleft palate and my heart sank. This was a true pie and ice cream moment. Here I had this perfect little slice of heaven, but the scoop of reality was right there looming over us. I was actually born with the same birth defect almost 35 years ago. My heart was filled with guilt as I was the one that had now burdened my child with this gene. The moment my mom came in to see him, I uttered those fateful words to my mom, "he has a cleft palate" and burst into tears. Only she could understand what this must feel like because she got the same news as a mother. Today, I am more at peace with it. He has a bilateral cleft soft palate which is open to his nasal cavity and sinuses. It has taken some getting used to the feedings with special therapeutic bottles and the fact that when he spits up, it often comes out his nose, too. I have also had to get used to sounds he makes that might make others think he is gasping for air, when in reality it is just his tongue stuck up in the cleft and he can still breathe through his nose. He sneezes more than the average baby since he constantly has stuff up in his sinuses and he also gets very fast and frequent hiccups. Surgery to fix it looms in the future, but I also know from my own experiences that it will fix the problem and he will be a normal kiddo. We do have a consult with the craniofacial specialist/surgeon on August 26th to determine the extent and date of his surgery.

As hard as this pregnancy was, and as unexpected as the news of a c-section and then the cleft palate was, I wouldn't change a thing about how perfect an addition he makes to our family.

We just added the cutest little monkey to our family vine! Welcome to the jungle of life, my sweet baby boy!