Devastation

As if my week wasn't hard enough with Max starting school this week, I get dealt another emotional hurdle!

As many of you read this, I will be under general anesthesia having a D&C. The most delicate way I can say this is that I have lost the baby.

Yesterday, I had a routine sonogram for the Nuchal Translucency (?sp) test where they look for abnormalities that would warrant further tests to determine chromosomal disorders. While doing the sonogram, the baby was measuring for 11 weeks and I was 13 weeks yesterday and there was no heartbeat. The sonographer did not let on to anything, but escorted me to an exam room to speak with the doctor. I was going to be meeting with him anyway for my routine exam, so I didn't think much of it. The only strange thing was that at my last sonogram, I went back out into the waiting room and the nurse called me back in to take my vitals, etc.

The doctor came in and broke the news to me in the most delicate and sincere way he could. He was very comforting and gave me a lot of information about our choices at this point.

We are absolutely devastated. This is going to be a rough road ahead especially since I am now (or was into my 2nd trimester), I was showing, and we have told everyone under the sun (including all of you)! And the hardest part of this whole ordeal has been having to tell our sweet little boy.

He took the news pretty well, but asked lots of valid questions, the biggest being, "Who is going to be it's Mommy and Daddy and take care of it in Heaven?" Needless to say, I lost it at that point. He knows that Mommy will be going to the hospital in the morning, but that I hope to be home by the time he gets home from school.

I may be away for a little while! So, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time!

I am just trying to keep the mindset that even though this will be hard, I will get through it and "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

Thank you for your constant bloggy support and May God Bless each of you.