The Roller Coaster

I think the roller coaster has pulled back into the loading area and is about to let me off! At least I hope so.

After a week and a half of up and down and up and down, I finally had a day of reprieve yesterday.

On Friday afternoon, I thought I might be on an upswing. The bleeding had all but faded, my cramping was almost non-existent and emotionally I had a good day. Then, after dinner, I got the worst cramps I have had this whole ordeal (yes, worse than post-op) which was followed by very heavy bleeding and worst of all...clotting. (Sorry to be so blunt and graphic, but no other way to describe it) It got so bad I was sobbing and in the fetal position thinking, "Wasn't this supposed to be ending?" I ended up calling my best friend (an ob/gyn nurse) and doctor. They both said that this is rare to happen this far after the procedure (a week exactly), but maybe all the tissue didn't get expelled, and if it got any worse, go to the ER. Luckily, after speaking to my doctor, the cramps had lightened up a bit and I decided to try to go to sleep and if I got any more clots, I would go to the hospital. I slept all night.

The next day, I just took it easy. That evening, we went out for a friend's surprise birthday party. Can you believe that I had only one cramp all day and only spotting.

cue trumpet and angel chorus

Sunday came and the kids let us sleep until 8:30!!!!!! I got up and no bleeding overnight. I felt the best I had in probably 10 days. And, best of all, I had no cramping at all and I haven't even spotted since. Emotionally, it was a good day, too. We went to church and sat with friends. Then, Max had a play date. Matt made a delicious dinner and we played with the kids.

Could this mean the train is pulling into the station and about to let me off? I sure hope so!

Twinkle Toes

Cate had her first day of ballet the other day! She was so excited and loved every minute of it. The parents were not allowed into the studio room, but there was a small viewing window (one way mirror) for us to watch them through. She totally hammed it up as I knew she would! She was already asking to go back to "tapping class" today. When I told her that she couldn't go today but next week, she replied in disappointment with, "Awww, man!"

One of the other moms took a little 30 second video through the one-way mirror. Because we were outside the room, you can't hear the music (just fellow moms talking). Cate is the one that starts off on the left then moves around to the right, then into the middle just before they go over to the wall! Enjoy!

In Memory

We received the most beautiful white roses from some very dear friends today. I have been so blessed with the most generous outpouring of prayers, phone calls and gestures that it is almost hard to process. We are truly lucky to have such wonderful friends and family surrounding us with their love and support.

Thank you to all of you who have commented or sent personal emails to me. I am sorry that I am not able to respond to each and every one of you at this time. I am still working on the strength to just get through it day by day. May God bless each and every one of you!

Just before going into surgery, Matt recited a scripture to me to give me a little bit of peace before going under....

For I have plans for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. --Jeremiah 29:11

God does have a plan for us and we trust in His plan.

Devastation

As if my week wasn't hard enough with Max starting school this week, I get dealt another emotional hurdle!

As many of you read this, I will be under general anesthesia having a D&C. The most delicate way I can say this is that I have lost the baby.

Yesterday, I had a routine sonogram for the Nuchal Translucency (?sp) test where they look for abnormalities that would warrant further tests to determine chromosomal disorders. While doing the sonogram, the baby was measuring for 11 weeks and I was 13 weeks yesterday and there was no heartbeat. The sonographer did not let on to anything, but escorted me to an exam room to speak with the doctor. I was going to be meeting with him anyway for my routine exam, so I didn't think much of it. The only strange thing was that at my last sonogram, I went back out into the waiting room and the nurse called me back in to take my vitals, etc.

The doctor came in and broke the news to me in the most delicate and sincere way he could. He was very comforting and gave me a lot of information about our choices at this point.

We are absolutely devastated. This is going to be a rough road ahead especially since I am now (or was into my 2nd trimester), I was showing, and we have told everyone under the sun (including all of you)! And the hardest part of this whole ordeal has been having to tell our sweet little boy.

He took the news pretty well, but asked lots of valid questions, the biggest being, "Who is going to be it's Mommy and Daddy and take care of it in Heaven?" Needless to say, I lost it at that point. He knows that Mommy will be going to the hospital in the morning, but that I hope to be home by the time he gets home from school.

I may be away for a little while! So, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time!

I am just trying to keep the mindset that even though this will be hard, I will get through it and "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

Thank you for your constant bloggy support and May God Bless each of you.

15 of 52 - Watching in Wonder

The night before Max went off to Kindergarten, we took him out to a Japanese Hibachi restaurant that he loves. During the dinner, Matt snapped this shot of me with the kids while watching the chef prepare the food in front of us. Not the greatest picture, but it'll do for this challenge. We had a great time and it was a treat for the whole family!

For more "photos of mom", click the button above to visit Forever in Blue Jeans!

First Day of Kindergarten

Well, the day finally arrived...my first born was off to Kindergarten. As many of you know from previous posts, I have been agonizing over this day. Each night after putting him to bed, I cry a little bit about how proud I am of him and how big and independent he is getting.

Last night was no different. As I labeled his uniforms and ironed each one, I cried. As I made his lunch (which I forgot he didn't need until late last night due to early release) and packed his backpack, I cried. As I woke early this morning to get showered and ready, I cried.

Then, while I was drying my hair, in walked Max, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed! He had the biggest grin on his face and he exclaimed, "Today is my first day of school!" Luckily, at that point, I didn't cry since I was just beaming with pride at his excitement.

We got ready and he had a good breakfast. Just before we walked out the door, I told him I needed some first day of school pictures.

I quickly dropped Cate off at our neighbors' house (where her little friend lives) and off we went to school. I did mention in the car that Mommy might cry, but that nothing was wrong...they were happy tears! Matt met us there. We got to walk him in on this first day (tomorrow begins regular carpool drop-off). He was so grown up and didn't want to hold our hands...tears were beginning to well up!


We walked into his classroom and were greeted by his teachers. He was the second child to arrive, so it was still pretty quiet in the room. Max found his cubby and hung up his backpack.


Then, his teacher told him to collect his supply box and begin the worksheet on the table. He went right to work cutting. I hugged him big and told him that I was VERY proud of him and knew he would have great year.....then the waterworks started. I stood up so I wouldn't upset him and Matt knelt down to hug him. Max then said to Matt, "I knew she would cry!" That lightened the mood and we blew kisses and stepped out.


Matt and I joined our friends and fellow parents for a welcome back coffee. Then, we headed to Kindergarten orientation. It was a somewhat lengthy meeting about school policies, uniform guidelines, carpool, lunchroom routine, volunteering for centers, and a word from the principal (who kindly reassured all of us that she had checked all the Kindergarten rooms and all was well).

That was it, he had begun his adventure. My baby was working and smiling and embarking on the time of his life!

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My Bump on Hump Day - 12 weeks

Well, as you will see, my bump hasn't changed that much in a week. However, my symptoms have! And for the better!

This week, I haven't been as nauseous and 3 mornings I woke up with feeling great! So, as they say, maybe it does end after the first trimester! Fingers crossed.

I have also had a little more energy, which I will need, now that Max starts school today and those early mornings of trying to get two kids up and ready and out the door by 7:30am are here!

I have my next check-up tomorrow with a sonogram and nuchal translucency test to detect possible chromosomal disorders. It is very routine and I had it done with Cate. If nothing else, it is yet another chance to glimpse at this beautiful baby in my belly!

So, without further ado...my belly!

(please excuse the headless picture again, I remembered to take it after I got ready for bed and had no makeup on and hair in a twisty)

The BIG week

Well, it has finally arrived...Max begins Kindergarten on Wednesday. I guess I have been waiting for this day for the last 5 years.

Last night, I cried like a baby about my baby starting school. I can't believe this day has come and I feel like tomorrow he'll be graduating high school! I know I am getting a little ahead of myself, but these are pregnancy hormones raging through my body!

I have had pains of guilt running through me about how I have taken advantage of my time with him at home. Should I have played those extra games of Candy Land or built more tents with him or taken him to the park more often? After Wednesday, those days of being at home with my preschooler will be long gone.

But then I think of the great adventure he is about to embark on. He is such a smart little cookie and he thrives on structure and learning new things, so I know he'll be just fine. The look of amazement and excitement on his face today while checking out his new classroom brought joy to my heart! He was thrilled to have his very own box of supplies (markers, glue stick, scissors, etc) and to see the fish tank in the classroom. His teacher was super nice and welcoming to him. He got a little shy while introducing himself, but he held out his hand and quietly whispered, "Nice to meet you!"

So, as Max takes off on this new journey called "Big Kid School", I wish him all the luck I can give and hope this year is a great one!

Dig

Recently, Cate performed a new little dance for me where she has blade hands and aims them at the ground on either side of her while chanting "dig, dig" and shaking her hips from side to side! Not sure where this dance originated or how, but it is now her signature move! Oh, how I wish I had video of this, but this picture is just going to have to do!



It's Friday, so Dig...Dig....it's a dance party!

Smell of Grandma's Kitchen

The last few days I have really been thinking of my Me-Maw. Not sure if it is the anticipation of this new baby that she will never meet or just simply missing her! So, today, I decided to bring back the nostalgic smell of her kitchen with one of my favorite recipes of hers which we made together so often! She called them Sugar Cookies, but most of you may know them as Snickerdoodles.


Me-Maw's Sugar Cookies

1 cup vegetable oil
1 cup margarine or butter (softened)
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
4 cups of flour (sifted)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cream of tarter
cinnamon sugar (for coating)

Cream together oil, butter, sugars (not cinnamon sugar), eggs, and vanilla until fluffy and well blended. Slowly add flour, salt, baking soda, and cream of tarter. Mix until smooth. Chill dough for at least 2 hours (I put it in the freezer for the last 30 minutes to get it a little harder as it is easier to work with the colder it is). Roll into balls, then roll in cinnamon sugar to coat. Place on an ungreased cookie sheet and press gently with the bottom of a small glass (we used to use her old-fashioned juice glasses). Depending on the size of your cookies, you should be able to fit a dozen per cookie sheet. Once flattened, they do not spread too much. Bake at 375 for 9-10 minutes or just as the edges begin to become golden.

Makes approx 5 dozen cookies

A fun adaptation is rolling them in colored sugar for the holidays. She always made them with green and red sugar for Christmas!

I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as I do. The smell of her cookies lingering in my kitchen all day was just the pick me up I needed to remember her by!

My Bump on Hump Day - 11 weeks

Here I am just a couple of days ago. Yep...already showing that much before my 2nd trimester has even started!

Nausea and morning sickness have not been bothering me, but that is still due to the anti-nausea meds. I did a trial run one morning without taking it...and I got sick. So, they are still at my bedside and will be until I am at least at 12 or 13 weeks, then I'll try it again. However, with Max's big first day of kindergarten just one week away, I need to be at my best in the morning! The only other symptom I am experiencing is exhaustion and lots of it!

I plan to have a weekly picture of my ever growing belly each and every Wednesday...get it my bump on hump day! I think that is pretty appropriate. I am also hoping to get a cute button made very soon, too!

For more Wordful Wednesdays, visit Angie at SevEn cLoWn CirCuS by clicking the button below.

The Fun Guy

Years ago, a family friend dubbed my dad, the "Fun Guy". At the pool, he was always the dad that would hurl us across the water for the biggest splash, or sing the silliest songs that meant absolutely nothing!

Now, years later, this "Fun Guy" side of my dad is coming out again! From the moment he walks into our house, the kids are anxious to play such things as Brain Busters (and I don't mean trivia), Baby Goat (don't even ask), or in this case...use Papa as the foundation of their protective "wall". Do you see him in there?

Yep, sometimes I see a side of my dad that is so genuine and fun that it makes me long for those good ole days growing up!

For more Tuesdays Tribute, visit Angie at SevEn cLoWn CirCuS by clicking the button below.

Exhaustion

Well, in a word, I am....EXHAUSTED!

I guess this is God's way of training me for life with three kids. The past few days have included me laying on the couch almost 24/7. Luckily, my mom was here for the week, so she has helped out tremendously. I was nauseous for a couple of days, but mostly just tired beyond belief!

I am almost to my 12th week, so I am optimistic that this will end soon. My belly may be expanding at a rapid rate (pics to come soon), but I just hope this low energy begins to lessen!

Tomorrow is a big day. I joined our local chapter of the Junior League and the newest members' orientation retreat is tomorrow. I hope to get lots of rest tonight in order to be able to get through the day long meeting.

Beyond that, not much going on. Max begins Kindergarten in just 12 days. We have all of his uniform purchased as well as his lunch box and back pack. All I really need to do before the big day is purchase the Kleenex! He got a card from his teacher in the mail the other day and is very excited to meet her on Meet the Teacher Day, August 17th (school starts on the 19th).

Cate will also be starting a 2 year old program at our church/school after Labor Day. It will be hard to see her off to "school", too. However, I will have two mornings a week to myself to rest and get ready for this newest addition to our family!

Well, that's all folks. Sorry I have lost my post-a-day schedule, but hopefully, with school starting soon as well as my energy level hopefully going up, I will have more to blog about and more time to do it!

Have a great weekend.

WordFUL Wednesday - Slice of Heaven

Are these not just the cutest little kids you have ever seen? Well, I am a bit biased. I took this photo at my in-law's house in front of the gorgeous hydrangea blossoms. This may be a contender for our Christmas card photo!

I can hardly wait to add to the cuteness with this newest baby!

For more Wordful Wednesdays, visit Angie at SevEn cLoWn CirCuS by clicking the button above!

Yee Haw!

A couple of weeks ago, after returning from vacation, we attended the birthday party of my best friend's daughter. She was turning 5 and loves My Little Pony. So, that was the theme and it took place at a local horse barn and riding grounds.

Max and Cate were so excited to go and wear their cowboy/girl get-ups! Cate called it the "Yee Haw Potty" (potty, being of course, how she says party).

The kids enjoyed feeding the horses a snack.


Pony rides.

A game of horseshoes in the bucket.

And...pin the "cutie mark" on the pony.

Then, of course, there was cake and presents!

Overall, it was a delightful day spent celebrating with our friends.