...sometimes leads to brain freeze.
Yes, this is once again a reference to my "pie and ice cream moments". If you remember, the pie is in reference to life's amazing moments and the ice cream is referring to life's reality! If you have no clue what I am talking about, click the tab above that says "Pie or Ice Cream?"
Anyway, the last few weeks have been tough ones. Not really sure why...just life in general.
- Max had the flu and still has this horrible cough that he can't shake.
- Cate has hit those terrible twos, even though she is months away from turning 3.
- The realization that if I was still pregnant, I would most likely know what we were having by now.
- Too many activities and meetings and not enough time, which has led to very few evenings, of late, with all four of us at dinner and family time afterward, thus leading to stress for all of us.
- Not making the Moms Panel.
- Stressing about finances with both kids birthdays and Christmas all falling within a 3 week period.
So, you get the picture. And I just feel overwhelmed, overscheduled, overworked, and out of touch. I have taken it out on the kids but mostly on the one person that means the most, my husband.
Last night, he read me his testimonial that he is to give at his church retreat follow-up meeting tonight. As he read about how he feels about me and the kids and how his relationship with God has helped him deal with the pressures of everyday life, I felt a bit guilty. I know this wasn't his intention, this was just his truth about how he feels, and he is entitled to that. Very often, he listens to me vent and helps me calm down, but very rarely are the tables turned. And believe me, I recognize this. He has just always internalized things and doesn't feel the need to vent to me. However, he does have feelings and emotions and I need to make sure he knows that I will support and listen to him in his time of need.
It also made me realize that change cannot happen without any effort. I must take charge and recognize that if something is stressing me out, then I need to find a way to fix it or change the outcome, rather than wallowing in self-pity. And trust me, I can be the Queen of Self-Pity!
Ok, so thanks for listening (if you didn't click out of this post by the second paragraph). I just needed to fully recognize the spectrum of what I have heard, seen and felt. By saying it out loud (ie, putting it out there on this blog), I feel that I can make a conscience effort to make things better for my entire family!
Last night, he read me his testimonial that he is to give at his church retreat follow-up meeting tonight. As he read about how he feels about me and the kids and how his relationship with God has helped him deal with the pressures of everyday life, I felt a bit guilty. I know this wasn't his intention, this was just his truth about how he feels, and he is entitled to that. Very often, he listens to me vent and helps me calm down, but very rarely are the tables turned. And believe me, I recognize this. He has just always internalized things and doesn't feel the need to vent to me. However, he does have feelings and emotions and I need to make sure he knows that I will support and listen to him in his time of need.
It also made me realize that change cannot happen without any effort. I must take charge and recognize that if something is stressing me out, then I need to find a way to fix it or change the outcome, rather than wallowing in self-pity. And trust me, I can be the Queen of Self-Pity!
Ok, so thanks for listening (if you didn't click out of this post by the second paragraph). I just needed to fully recognize the spectrum of what I have heard, seen and felt. By saying it out loud (ie, putting it out there on this blog), I feel that I can make a conscience effort to make things better for my entire family!
Now bring on the pie....pumpkin that is! Thanksgiving is just around the corner.
6 comments:
Sometimes just knowing you need to change and saying it out loud help so much. You do so many things that are positive-be sure you give yourself credit for those too. Love from you know who!
Oh, Allison. Please don't beat yourself up--I know exactly what you are saying.
Man, sometimes it is tough being a mom and having the weight of the world on our shoulders. Sometimes things just get out of control. If it makes you feel any better--things are crazy over her to and I need to start lowering my voice!!
Hugs! You are doing an amazing job with your family. It's so great that you have each other for support - guys tend to keep things in (I know my husband does) so it's good they know we're here to listen.
We moved 4 hours away from the hustle and bustle to slow down from our (or should I say MY)crazy life. While that was extreme, it was the best decision we ever made since we are now so close to the family. But since the move, I've made a conscious effort to pray, discern, and talk to Dusty about decisions that might take me away from my time with them - it's been amazing and has brought all of us closer. I agree with the first post - it does take saying it out loud and admitting that a change needs to happen before real change CAN happen.
You are amazing and I continue to be in awe of you and what you do for your precious family.
Your cuz - <>< Jenny
Being a perfect mom and wife is almost impossible. From what I can tell, you do a great job at both. When times seem difficult, I try to remember Philippians 4:13. Those words are always comforting.
You're not alone Allison. I am the same way about gobbling up Jeff's support and encouragement and often times forgetting to reciprocate. But I think you're right - putting it into words on your blog will serve as a little reminder. And I agree with anonymous #1 up there, don't forget to give credit where credit is due.
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